April has been designated Autistic Awareness Month, then Autistic Acceptance Month, and all sorts of monolithic charities led by parents of autistic children and ABA practitioners are urging folks to put a blue heart on (or recently stuff such as rainbow colored bows) and donate to those poor parents martyred on the shrine of 40 weekly hours of conversion therapy for the kids who are going to grow up to resent them, themselves and those charities.
But this is where both awareness and acceptance ends: when autistic kids grow up, they turn into autistic adults, who are barred from decision making and leadership in such parent focused and led charities.
The first attempt at reclaiming April by the autistic community resulted in swapping awareness for acceptance. But I find this offensive in itself: who are allistic folks to accept my very existence? Could you imagine Queer Acceptance or Black Acceptance? The terminology reeks of paternalism and discrimination.
While I'm all for self-acceptance, from others I would ask at the very least for respect, which is one step further.
Ideally, April will soon become Autism Appreciation Month. Some already call to turn it into Autism Advocacy Month. But until then, I think we still have a lot of work to do in the field of Autism Awareness.
First and foremost, the awareness of autistic folks that they are, in fact, autistic. Autistic Self-Awareness is no less important than what we rightfully demand from others.
Without it we don't understand ourselves, our struggles, our joys, our needs and our place in the world. It is exhausting to spend your life wondering why things go awry, and why others don't see the beauty you see, experience the pain that you feel. Not to mention not realizing how much easier it can all be made with some noise-canceling earbuds or a cap.
Autistic Self-Awareness is the first step towards Autistic Self-Acceptance, Autistic Self-Appreciation and Autistic Self-Advocacy. And to be able to live our best lives, we all need them, whether we are 5, 15, 35, 50 or 85 years old.
The more autistic folks achieve those, the more awareness of our lifelong existence and identity will grow among the neuro-majority. This will lead to a decrease in stereotypes and hate, and an increase in understanding and accommodation. And maybe even, eventually, it will become evident that you can't run an autistic nonprofit or charity without autistic leadership and decision-makers. Not to mention many of these “autism parents” may realize they're autistic too, and get some help dismantling their internalized ableism that made them so averse to Self-Actualized autistic adults.
In the meantime, autistic folks that are already aware can do something to shift the discourse from the that of the “struggles of autism parents” that talk about us without us, backed by big, well-funded organizations, to one where we represent ourselves, advocate for ourselves, and provide each other with what we need to thrive rather than just survive.
Aut2Aut needs your help to go on providing sensory information and service instructions on prepped.to, writing this blog and creating our coming podcast, as well as many more future projects, such as a free platform for autistic service-providers, autistic accessibility audits and consulting for businesses, and more to come.
Because parent organizations dominate public funding we need your help. Even 1 Euro a month, or whatever one-time donation you can make will make a huge difference.
With only 3,500 Euros we can ensure the survival of Aut2Aut for another year. And with just a few thousand regular supporters at 1 Euro a month, we can cover all our expenses to work full time on everything we want to be able to offer, free of charge, to and from the autistic community.
Please consider donating, and maybe, if you feel like it, you could share this blog post or our crowdfunding campaign with your autistic contacts and communities, because spreading the word is how you turn your small donation into many more small donations, and into a sustainable future for this autistic-led nonprofit.
Together, we can build the future we want to see, with Autistic Awareness, Appreciation and Advocacy, and reclaim April for whatever we want it to symbolize.
